Lunatic Parade-109 (SEASON FINALE!)
by gabriel ricard
Summary: Co-authored by the ultra talented and extremely hot Megamijuhachigou...this is the SEASON FINALE to the epic first season of lunatic parade! with more guest stars then an episode of friends and ten times funnier too!


yeah, here it is. i did it green jell-o today, and i just couldn't 

resist. 

hope you enjoy ^^

Lunatic Parade-109

Written by Gabe Ricard

And Megami_Juhachigou

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine so don't give me a fine…hey

that rhymes! (Pause) Come on! That's clever shit! YOU

didn't think of it did you?! Did you?!

A huge treat for me here…what may hopefully be the

start of something beautiful with my Lunatic Parade

series…number one is that they're going to be longer

and the second is I'm going to try and suck other

people into the series. The first victim is one of the

funniest people I know and just to work with her kicks

a lot of ass. Anyways, I still have other things in

the works…the Tenchi/Washu epic that is also a

co-author effort is still on the way along with season

two of FF7 and more…oh yes there's more. I'm gonna let

Megami babble now cause she's good at it…even better

then me and that's saying something…not sure

what…Megami?

First off, my name isn't capatalized! *kills Gabe* Wait, oh damn, he's 

writing the fic with me *yoinks Ronfar and has him perform Miracle 

Litany so 

Gabe can finish writing this fic with me* There, much better *smiles*

Second of all, I'm typing not on my normal typing thingy, so I may 

forget to 

capitalize and make a lot of typos, so excuse that that.

Third of all, on to the babbling! Wait, this already is babbling 

*sweatdrops*

Yes, I am victim # 1, and it is a pleasure to be working with a funny 

ass 

guy like Gabe *glomps Gabe*

Gabe: *wipes all the black lipstick of his face and rubs it on the back 

of 

mj's shirt when she's not looking*

He's much funnier than i am, i just happen to be on a constant 

sugar-high 

thanx to my addiction of pixy stix

Oh yeah, and i have these daemons running around who do a whole bunch 

of 

shit, so don't mind them if they kill you or something.

On that happy note, on with the fic!

Ruby: I say we just leave

Ronfar: I dunno Ruby…it just wouldn't be the same

Lucia: Ronfar's right Ruby

Jean: For once

Ronfar: Shut up ELLEN

Ruby: Well…even if Hiro DOES show up…I'll fix his

little red wagon (Cackles)

Ronfar: I thought Leo did…that day Hiro tried to fly

with it…when he stole that koala bear from the zoo and

thought it was ET

Ruby: It's a figure of speech Ronfar

Ronfar: Wazza?

Ruby: Forget it

Hiro: (Appears in his desk) Hey guys!

Lucia: Hiro! Where have you been?

Hiro: I saw one of those damn magic eyes

Ruby: And this caused you to miss the last six

episodes?

Hiro: Yeah

Ruby: Hiro…what are we going to do with you?

Hiro: Give me money?

Ruby: No…I have a better idea…REPLACE YOU AS THE HOST!

Hiro: No!

Ruby: Yes!

Hiro: No!

Ruby: Yes!

Ronfar: I could watch this for days

Jean: Me too

(Seven hours later)

Hiro: No!

Ruby: Yes!

Ruby: Enough! It doesn't matter what you think…because

your replacement is here and it is…

Lemina: (walks in) A glob of green jell-o! (places a plate of, you 

guessed 

it, green jell-o on Hiro's desk)

Ruby: What!? That's not supposed to be the replacement!

Lemina: You SAID to use my best judgement! (swishes hair) I think green 

jell-o would make a PERFECT host, better than Hiro at least. (sticks 

out 

tongue at Hiro)

Hiro: Would not!

Lemina; Would so!

Hiro: Would not!

Lemina: Would so!

Ronfar: (sighs) Here we go again...Anyone wanna play a game of dice?

Lucia: Sure!

Rnfar: Not you.

Lucia: (whacks him over the head with a frying pan a la Chichi)

Hiro: That's IT! YOU can go have your CRAPPY jell-o show and I will go 

start 

my OWN show! (exits)

Jean: Damn...what flew up that guy's asshole?

Lucia: What's an asshole?

Ronfar: Here let me show you (Pulls down pants)

Lucia: Oh dear…

Jean: No, she doesn't have to hear it from you.

Hiro: (starry eyes) Lucia, you'll come with me won't you? Yoi'll drop 

these 

losers and come with me for the REAL show, won't you?

Jean: Hey! Who you calling losers!?

Hiro: PPPPLLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEEE????????

Lucia: (thinks) Well, I have to admit that Jell-O looks awfully 

tempting...

Hiro: (sighs) Fine, I'll stay. But if that Jell-O makes ONE bad move, 

it's 

mine! (Punches his fist into his palm)

Ruby: But no one even wants you here!

Jean: Yeah! So get the hell out!

Lucia: I want Hiro here…

Jean: Stay out of this Lucia

Leo: (enters) Hey, Hiro, I have that wagon you we're...(stops and looks 

around) Hey, what's going on? (sniffs air) Is that...green jell-o I 

smell?

Lemina: Well-

Leo: (runs up and starts to eat the jell-o)

Lemina: Wait! You can't do that! It's our new host!

Leo: Ooops. (Stops eating Jell-O. about half of it was left)

Jell-o: Damn straight. I dunno 'bout you people...

Hiro: Eeep! (Jumps into Lucia's arms) It's alive! (Ronfar's in a control room….similar to Moltar from space ghost)

Ruby: I'd love to get my clowns on whoever writes this

Lucia: Whoever writes this?

Ruby: Don't worry about it Lucia

Nall: Hey Ruby…why won't you turn into human form? I really wanna tap that shiznit!

Ruby: Switch your brain with Carrot Top's and we'll talk

Nall: Works for me! (Runs off giggling)

Leo: Ahhhh! The Jell-O's…eating…my insides…(Falls down and starts twitching)

Ronfar: Can I finish it?

Hiro: (Throws Leo's dead body away) So…who's our guest?

Ruby: Ric Flair

Hiro: Who? (Sits back down)

Ruby: One of the greatest wrestlers ever

Hiro: (Blinks)

Ruby: 23 time World Champion?

Hiro: (Blinks)

Ruby: Forget it…and we actually got him to come here…no TV screen this time

Hiro: Wow

Ruby: Actually…it's broken…Ronfar ate two tons of mad cow infested cheeseburgers on a five silver bet and tried to mate with it…

Hiro: I see…well bring this guy out

(Ric Flair walks out gives a WHOOO and instead of sitting down where the TV set usually goes, pulls Hiro out of his chair, gives him two mighty Flair chops and then throwing him off screen and standing back. Hiro is somehow shot off of the planet where the LP building is located. Flair gives another WHOOO and sits down) 

Ric Flair: I'm taking over now brother! WHOO! (Throws the Jell-O at Nall which begins to chew on his face.)

Ruby: All right!

Ronfar: Sweet!

Jean: Thank the gods!

Lucia: Who are you?

Nall: (Standing up looking like hell) I like mittens!

Jean: (Throws some knives at Nall killing him)

Ruby: So…Ric…what do you have lined up for us?

Ric Flair: Well, I-

mj: (appears out of nowhere, grabs Ric Flair, and locks him in the 

broom 

closet)

mj: Unlike the majority of my friends who do like wrestling, i think it 

is 

evil fake crap that should be destroyed at all costs. I am also aware 

that 

gabe is probably going to kill me now, so I'd better high tail my ass 

outta 

here. Ja mata! (flies off)

Ronfar: That is one strange woman...

Lucia: Who was she? And who is this Gabe person?

Jean: *shrugs*

Ruby: (looks like she's constipated) DAMMIT! Now we need a new guest!

Lemina: Red jell-o?

Jean: Why don't we just go for a walk outside and meet some random 

people to 

interview?

Ronfar: As long as they're babes, works for me! Ya think we can find 

Britney 

again?

Lucia: Hell, no.

Ronfar: Christina?

Jean: Outta the question.

Ronfar: Mandy?

Jean: Mmmm…yeahhhhh

Lemina: (Shakes her head at her girlfriend and turns to Ronfar) who the fuck do you think we are!? The National Enquirer? Why 

would 

we interview those bimbos?

Ronfar: Althena dammit...I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!

Cardinal Ximinez: (enters with Cardinals Biggles and Fang) NOBODY 

expects 

the Spanish Inquisition!

Ruby: What the fuck....

Ximinex: Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and 

surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless 

efficiency.... Our THREE weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless 

efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our 

FOUR...no... AMONGST our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such 

elements as fear, surprise....(trails off talking to himself)

Biggles: We're really sorry 'bout this, he can just go on and on...

Fang: We really ARE the Spanish Inquisition you know...

Jean: I see...

Ruby: I guess even in OUTER SPACE we're not safe from these people

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry 

are 

such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an 

almost 

fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!

Ruby: Um, do you think you guys can leave now? We're SUPPOSED to be 

doing a 

show, you know...

Ximinex: Um...er...

All Three: NO.

Lemina: Hey, i think i hear someone asking a lot of quesyions! They 

might be 

expecting a Finnish Inquisition.

Ximinex: That's SPANISH Inquistion. The Finnish had no inquistions of 

any 

kind. Now, if you excuse me, I must be off (all three exit)

Jean: (groans) NOW who's gonna be our guest?

Ruby: IT'S RIC FLAIR! DO YOU GET ME!? I WANT RIC FLAIR TO HOST THE DAMN SHOW! (Flies to the closet and lets Flair out) Are you okay?

Ric Flair: Couldn't be better…I'm still The kiss stealing, wheeling dealing, jet flying, limousine riding,

Sonofagun! WHOOO! 

Jean: Let's just hope that woman doesn't come back…this has got to have been the weirdest show we've ever done

Lucia: Not as weird as the planet warming party we had a couple months back

Jean: Don't even remind me…

Ronfar: (Coming down from the control room) We still need a guest…I can only do so much

Ruby: You don't do anything!  
Ronfar: I LINE UP THE BLOODY GUESTS! AND I DIRECT AND EDIT!! THIS DAMN SHOW WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT ME!!

Lucia: Ronfar…NALL could do your job

Ronfar: ……Dear goddess he could couldn't he?

Lucia: Yes

Ronfar: I…think I need to be alone (Runs away to sob)

Ruby: Besides, I line up the guests you Re-Re

Jean: Let's just bring out the janitor…I think it's EEK The Cat

Lemina: Who?

EEK: (Running into the room) OHPLEASELETMEBEONTHESHOWOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEYOUHAVENOIDEAWHATI'VEBEENDOINGWITHMYLIFESINCETHOSEBASTARDATFOXCANCELLEDMYSHOWOHPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASEEEEEEEEE!

Ruby: No

EEK: Okay….(Walks off)

Ruby: Let's just call it a day

(Lights darken…muffled yelling can be heard and moments later the lights come back on to reveal Ric Flair being shot into space and Hiro sitting at his desk smiling) I'm back!

Ruby: Ric! Noooooo!! 

Strange man: (pulls out a shotgun and blasts Hiro to Snake Way)

Jean: Who the fuck are you?

Strange man: My name is Bruce, and this here (drops gun) is Ric's dad.

Everyone else: oh.

Strange man (now known as Bruce): I heard you fine people are in need 

of a 

guest.

Lemina: And now were also in need of a host, thank you very much!

Bruce: I can do both. (sits at the desk formerly known as Hiro's)

Ronfar: (comes back down, carrying a box of tissues) Bruce? That you?

Bruce: (looks up) Oh, erm, hey Ronfar! (laughs nervously)

Ronfar: Hey, did you ever get over that fear of blenders?

Bruce: (glares at Ronfar) Did you ever get over that fear of women?

Rovby: (cracks up) YOU WERE AFRAID OF WOMEN!?!?!?!?!?!?

Ronfar: Althena, dammit, it was a long time ago. (looks like he's about 

to 

cry)

Lemina: It's okay, Ronfar. (she pats him on the shoulder, and then, 

realizing what she just did, wipes her hand on Jean's dress)

Ronfar: (attempting to compose himself) So Bruce, what you been doing 

all 

these years?

Bruce: Well, my recents exploits have included men in banana suits, a 

son i 

never had, and an interview with Elmo and Osama Bin Laden, and the 

destruction of the world. How 'bout you?

Ronfar: I got over my gambling debts (almost), got back together with 

my one 

and only Mauri (sort of) and helped save the world (by cowering in a 

corner).

Bruce: I see...

(there is an insane amount of silence)

Bruce: Damn, this is harder than i thought. (more silence)

Lemina: (sits down and curls her hair around a finger)

Ronfar: (whistles and starts to pick his nose when he thinks no one is 

watching)

Jean: (sits down and hums a song she has stuck in her head until 

everyone 

glares at her)

Bruce: (starts mumbling to himself about blenders)

Ruby: DAMMIT! YOU SUCK AS A HOST!!!!!!!! (burns Bruce to a crisp little 

pile 

of ashes)

Jean: That was unexpected.

Ruby: (begins to sob) I WANT HIRO BA-A-A-AAAACK!!!!!!!!

A little green alien in a pink tutu: Ask and ye shall receive. (waves a 

wand)

Hiro: (drops from the ceiling) Hey, I'm back!

Ruby: (grumbling) I didn't mean that seriously of course...

Ronfar: Well, as long as we're all back together, let's have a party! 

After 

all, I'm only two people away from a threesome...(looks over at Hiro, 

who 

kicks him in the balls)

Lemina: Wait! We're not all back together...what the fuck happened to 

Leo?

Jean: Yeah, and Ric?

...

somewhere in outer space...

Leo: So, Ric, you know any good knock-knock jokes?


End file.
